U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
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