My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
