Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
And then he peed in my hair
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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