i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
