I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
