My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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