he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
