In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I wish there were birth control emojis
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
