i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
