He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Randomize
