I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
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