yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
