Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize