I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Randomize
