do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
