wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
