Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
