yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Randomize
