We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
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