He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
