Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
