We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
