I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
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