You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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