I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
