I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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