hell yes lets make some ravioli
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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