I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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