Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
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