Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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