My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize