So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Randomize
