***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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