But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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