Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
