My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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