Kiss
Puke
I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
