he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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