guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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