there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
