i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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