There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
