Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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