thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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