Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Randomize
