I think im going to throw up on grandma
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Randomize
