yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
