So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
