I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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