I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
