he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
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