I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
