Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
