therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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