Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
