I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
