She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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