Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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