this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Randomize
