I don't think brook has ever known best
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
