Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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