Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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