You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Randomize
