do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
